Saturday, April 12, 2008

freedom of expression is hard

I just started writing lessons under the miraculous tutelage of dearest dave, and I feel like I'm an infant learning how to speak again, because all that comes out of me right now seems like babble. I've just started to do 20 minute "free writes" which is very hard on my wrist and brain, but by the end of it, I seem surprisingly happy to have done it. The first one actually brought up some really powerful thoughts for me that have been brewing in my mind for a while now, but until I gave up my need to over-think, I finally came upon something worth while for me.
I might start to post some of these ideas now and again, but not right this moment. It is not time. But there's something incredible about having to keep the hand and mind moving, even if it's tired, or out of "ideas." Because that's the beauty of it, is that there is no pre-emptive thinking or planning. It's just associative thinking and almost a physical excercise. For me, it was very much like meditating, where you're thoughts are going in and out of your breath, to a new thought that pops up, then back again to the breath, to the awareness that you are actively involved in that moment.

In other news, the apartment's slowly coming together. We're no longer eating from pots and pans since dave bought two REAL bowls and some silverware. Woo hoo! And having an east-west facing apartment is amazing. Sunrise, sunset...