Thursday, October 23, 2008

Heading South

The first half of this month, I was able to travel with the Khorikos choir on tour in the Czech Republic and Germany for 9 days. It was amazing. We performed every night in a different church. Before going on the trip, I really had my reservations about things. After the trip, I had gotten to know each amazing person in the group a little more and really came to love everything about the group, and still do. I told the director I was going to take the next season off to have more personal time and work on my own music. But what I didn't realize was that I would be moving in such a short amount of time and would not be singing with them for a while, or maybe ever? As you may know, it's been hard living in New York. But of course it is because it's New York, right? But coming home from such a glamorous trip (not always glamorous...I'm pretty sure I got bed bug bites one night at hostel) made me even more depressed about the situation at home. So when I got home, dave and I started to take action. First we managed to get in touch with our new building manager. After much phone tag and voice messages due to a lengthy Jewish holiday season, where nothing was accounted for, not even a missing lock on the door, or the still present bed bugs looming in our floors, the manager agreed to terminate our lease and give us back every penny we had in deposits.
Good news for us!
Back story a week earlier: Dave had casually asked me if I wanted to move to Nashville come next August. It was a city I really enjoyed on our visit during our tour this summer. I told him yes! But then, maybe!, and then again, Yes! why not? We have a couple of friends there and it's close to my family and it would be a great town to play music in.
So a week went by and we realized we have to get out of our apartment by November 1st. So as all the apartment stuff was happening, Dave found out that the Lucky Cat, where he's worked for the past couple of years has been bought by the people who own Cake Shop in the city and everyone working there would lose their job November 7th. Hmmm, no apartment, no job for dave...
While sitting with Dave's parents at lunch one day, we were talking about all this, and the idea of moving right away came up. "Why don't we move now?" (me) "What? Are you serious?"

Pause

Silence

Maybe not such a bad idea.

We liked Nashville, and we would probably fit in there very well. But what about New York? What will it do without us? What will we do without it? What about my job? And my friends? And my choir that's maybe taking off??
Such are the questions I've been facing for the past couple of days...even though only a week ago, I was only happy to take my things and go.
I am excited for a new adventure, and I am ready for more time and space on my hands. But it's funny how I've never really noticed what I love about this place until I decide to leave it. I think that's only natural though. And new york will never leave if I ever decide to come back. Most people except for my dad and my therapist (yes I have one) think it's a great idea for us. While the exceptions only question what I am leaving behind. In other words, they are all my fears in spoken word for me to hear crystal clear. But I'm 23 and I have a lot of places I want to see and live in. So I'm just putting my inner thoughts out there on the screen for people (or just me) to see to make it clearer to me what I want. But I know that no decision is the wrong one, and each decision is hard.
So we're leaving for nashville tennessee in two weeks...November 9th. Well, we're going to stay with dave's family in CT for two weeks after that, and then head down. So I'm gonna be a southerner again!
I imagine there's friends, jobs and people to sing with there too. They'll just be different. But please, don't let me join a Jesus choir. I know I'll be down south, but I am not going to sing for Jesus. Ever.

It sure is cold here for not having heat...