Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Whiskey and Wine is a great way to say goodbye

My last two nights in New York was kind of like a Cliffs Notes of all the reasons why leaving is hard. I made at least three people cry...not my favorite way of pleasing people, but at least they weren't cheering for joy. And we played our music for the last time ever at the Lucky Cat, not only because we ourselves are leaving, but because the bar has been bought by new owners and will be refurbished, redone, and re-peopled to make it a better fitting establishment for the new Manhattanized Williamsburg that we've grown so sweetly bought out by due to high rising rents and dirty landlords.
In short, it was a very bitter-sweet night for all of us. No more late night shots of Jameson from the bar just because...why not? To life! And no more Tuesday night open mikes even though I always had to work anyway and often missed it. No more cheap drinks because they know me, no more free pizza because the guy I'm in love with makes them for me, no more being the only one on the dance floor like a maniac because there are no hipsters to watch me.
And on top of this, I managed to see almost all the people that made an impact in my life during my time in new york. Most are staying for good, or at least I get that feeling.
The last hours there were just a few good friends, liquored up by their alcohol of preference (mine was whiskey followed by a slow and lingering "I'm not ready to go yet" red wine), talking about New York, rent, relationships, relationships in New York, working in restaurants for too long, and just the general survival skills needed to live somewhere so demanding.
I think the next step in my life is to really see what kind of survivalist I am. What kind of city do I belong in, will I ever want to move back to "the city"? Maybe not. But then again, maybe every other city I live in from now on will only be, "not like New York." But even with those thoughts flowing, I still don't think that's incentive enough for me to move back.

So here I am at Dave's parents' house in Connecticut with our dog. The fridge is stocked, and the shower is something I want to be naked in...for a long time. Something that didn't EVER occur at our old shit hole of an apartment in Brooklyn. And, I can breathe when I go outside. Did you know that air in other places smells good?
We're here to collect ourselves and look for a place to live once we reach Nashville. We'll see how a little socialite like me will do without friends or even strangers for that matter to talk to over a glass of wine. I might have a million small breakdowns along the way. This solitude could be good for me. Writing anyone?
Yes. Good. Deep breath and try to enjoy the scenery while I'm here. This city girl is going country again.